Thursday, July 27, 2006

More, people, more!

A lot of people in my office today. Yeay!
XDDD
Some people came from Jogja, and they are suppose to start working in August, but they showed up already. Well, it's good so I have friends here beside that bloody manager. Muhahahahaha!!

Ah, I think it's going to be a better working condition. ^^

{posted by Chibi on 6:32 PM} +

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Que sera, sera.

Life is a fucking bitch.
Just when I turned 25, I made a big decision for my career step. I have been an executive secretary for my dear GM, but then I realize that I've been stressed out here... Considering that I don't have any secretarial background, and my existence here was merely based on his mercy.
I know many would kill to be in my shoes, but I need my life.
And I can't go on with life like this, otherwise I'd kill myself.
Seriously, I've been thinking to kill myself for the past week, and I know even though I would not able to do that, the feeling would keep haunting me.

And so I decided to step out and give up the secreatarial job. The HR Consultant persuaded me to do so, so... hufff.
I signed my letter of intent, and starting this August (or to be advised), I will no longer a secretary. I'm moving with the banquet sales.

It feels like broke up with your boyfriend. Or in my case, break up with the GM :P
He's the one who saved my life, and now I had to leave the first real job I've ever had from him.
Well, not actually leaving him, though, since I'm still in the same building and the same corporate, just different position.
Will I be happy with my new position? Dunno, but I would love to figure it out.
I hate being so stressful like NOW.
NOW, I really want to kill everyone in this office. Including my dear GM.
he's so sweet and cruel, I dunno what to do with that creature XDD

Yeah, life goes on.

{posted by Chibi on 4:09 PM} +

Monday, July 24, 2006

25 Years Itch

Three days after my 25th birthday.
And I'm still ALIVE! THANK YOU, GOD!
I am here, still breathing, still kicking. Still bitching out the corporation rulers.
But at least, still struggling to survive, and still hoping for a light.
I know I am sinful, but I know God will help me, as I will try to lead myself towards His way.
And for the life that 25 years He already gave to me, I am very grateful and hope to fill the coming days with each breath I take, with everything He already gave to me. Friends, family, happiness, sorrows, and all and all.
I am still looking for brighter tomorrow. Hopefully I will see my next birthday with more joy.

And I, will be happy.

{posted by Chibi on 5:18 PM} +

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Kilasan.

Terengah berusaha mengejar waktu. Sidang. Lulus. Wisuda. Meninggalkan Bandung. Patah hati. Meninggalkan hidup. Kembali ke Jakarta. Jadi pengangguran. Kehilangan Rendro, salah satu malaikatku. Kerja sosial di kantor om. Ngerjain proyek film. Dapat kerjaan freelance. Kembali mengajar orang-orang Korea. Mengajar anak-anak kecil. Mendapat beberapa teman kencan baru. Menghindari beberapa kencan baru. Tetap ada telepon-telepon tengah malam (yang baru kusadari, itulah yang membuatku tetap bertahan hidup di Jakarta). Berbagai tawaran profesi yang tiba-tiba membludak. Kehilangan ayah tiri. Menjadi kepala rumah tangga. Satu malam tahun baru lagi berdua (bersamanya, tahun baru selalu tak pernah terlupakan). Berjudi dengan profesi. Jadi figuran film. Weekend gila-gilaan di Bandung. Meninggalkan Jakarta. Pindah ke Bogor. HIdup bersama mama dan adik-adik. Mulai kerja kantoran beneran. Membenci hari pertama bekerja (kalau saja tidak ada telepon itu sore itu, aku mungkin sudah berhenti bekerja di hari kedua). Party bersama orang-orang Jerman sampai mabok. Nyaris tak mampu bertahan di hari ketujuh bekerja. Dapat promosi jabatan di hari kedelapan bekerja (mungkin memang itu angka keramat, 8). Merayakan pesta perpisahanku sendiri. Meninggalkan Bogor, pindah ke Bandung. Tetap menjadi peliharaan atasan di Bandung. Tapi setidaknya kembali ke hidupku sendiri. Bertemu dengan duniaku, walau hanya sekitar tiga jam sehari. Berusaha manjadi diri sendiri, bukan anjing korporasi. Sampai sekarang. Sampai detik ini.

Sudah lewat tiga ratus enam puluh empat hari beberapa jam.
:) I'll see you tomorrow, takdir.

{D -1}

{posted by Chibi on 9:35 PM} +

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Left and wasted.

Disaat-saat seperti ini nih, gue mulai ngerasa semperti sampah. Kalo lagi dibutuhin, semua orang bakal bersikap ekstra manis ama gue. Dan karena gue selalu berusaha untuk menyenangkan orang selagi gue mampu, ya gue rela-rela aja toh buat memenuhi keinginan mereka.
Tapi sebelnya, begitu mereka pikir gue ga mampu menyenangkan hati mereka, tau-tau gue didepak gitu aja, berasa kayak kertas bekas yang abis dicoret-coret, trus dibuang gitu aja ke tempat sampah. Bah.
Sometimes people ask too much from me.
And sometimes I feel like I can do anything, but still it wouldn't make them satistfied.
Apa lagi sih, yang harus gue lakuin, biar dunia menganggap kalo gue ada, dan gue juga manusia biasa?
KALIAN PIKIR GUE GA PUNYA JIWA?? KAAAMMPPPRREEETTTTTT!!!!

{D -3}

{posted by Chibi on 5:44 PM} +

Monday, July 17, 2006

I'm only human...

So many things in my head, I just don't know what to write *___*
By the way, I already watch that super gorgeous Superman Returns :D
Brandon Routh is SO not human XDD

On the opposite coast of sadness
is something called a smile
But before we can go there,
is there something we're waiting for?

In order to chase our dreams, we can't have a reason to run away
We've got to go, to that far away summer's day

If we find it tomorrow, we can't sigh
Because like a boat that opposes the stream
we have to walk straight on

In a place worn down by sadness
something called a miracle, is waiting
Yet we are still searching
for the sunflower that grows at the end of spring

The warrior who awaits the morning light
before he can clasp it with red nails, his tears glitter and fall

Even if we've grown used to loneliness
only relying on the light of the moon
We have to fly away with featherless wing
just go foward, just a little further

As the rainclouds break
the wet streets sparkling
Although it brings only darkness
A powerful, powerful light
helps push us to walk on
{K - Only Human}

{D -4}

{posted by Chibi on 1:40 PM} +

Saturday, July 15, 2006

Weekeeeeeeennndddd !!!!

I am SO gonna enjoy my weekend. Toomuch trouble for the week, I think I'm gonna explode.

Anyway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO SHUGOREI !! <333333
Hugsie.

{posted by Chibi on 2:18 PM} +

Friday, July 14, 2006

Things that money can't buy - or can it ??

Mungkin gue termasuk orang-orang yang kurang bersyukur dengan apa yang udah gue miliki sekarang, ya.
Karena sampai detik ini pun, gue masih selalu merasa kurang dan tidak puas dengan apa yang gue punya. Gue punya kerjaan bagus - dan masih mengeluh dengan tanggung jawab yang jadi kompensasinya. Gue ngerasa ini bukan apa yang gue inginkan. Tapi gue membutuhkan pekerjaan ini, dan gue jadi serasa menjual diri. Dan itupun masih kurang.
Gue ta, banyak orang yang rela mati untuk mendapatkan apa yang gue dapetin ini. Tapi yang gue pengenin malah ngebuang semua ini, dan menjalani apa yang gue inginkan, asal gue bahagia.
Huahahahaha, naif sekali yah.
Gue tau ga semua yang kita inginkan bisa kita dapatkan. Tapi kalau saya ingin kebahagiaan, gue rasa itu kan wajar yah? Hmmm, walopun tetep aja, apapun namanya, kebahagiaan gue berdasarkan egoisme pribadi...
Kalau uang bisa membeli kebahagiaan gue, mungkin ga yah? Apa gue bakal bahagia kalo gue punya uang banyak tapi dengan kondisi tetap seperti ini?

{D -7}

{posted by Chibi on 7:32 PM} +

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Ngomel -___-

Najiiiisssss gue lama-lama beneran ga punya kehidupan lain selain di kantor neehhh....
Jam segini bos gue masih ngoceh, bo... Ga inget apa yah sekretarisnya musti pulang dan jauh pula dari kantor... Musti naek angkot, naek ojek pula :P
Dari hari Senin udah dihajar ama meeting-meeting segambreng, ga ada waktu buat narik nafas..
Sometimes I like this job, but I hate it mostly.
Gue pengen pulang dan makan malam dengan manusia-manusia tersayang.
Sayangnya, habis itu gue musti mati dulu sebelum idup lagi besok pagi untuk rutinitas yang sama -__-

{posted by Chibi on 7:55 PM} +

Friday, July 07, 2006

Influenza

I'm having a running nose all day today -___-;;;;;;
I sneeze 20 times per minute, not a very good way to spend a day, huh. Especially in the office.
Oh goddamn it, I think I have to go home now, and get some decent rest.
I'm running out of tissue also. :P

{D-14}

{posted by Chibi on 4:28 PM} +

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Finale!!

Yesss finally! The French won the match with Portugal last night. Woohoo!
That means Italy is going to meet their buddies, The Frenchmen ^^
Now this is what I call dilemma :P

Actually I'm cheering for France since the beginning of the World Cup. But since Eric is Korean, and my boyfriend runs for England, and especially my boss is Italian, I just had to cheer them too. Now, the biggest match would be between my boss, and my ego. LOL!
I really want France to win, but it would be very good if Italy win - since it could make my boss happy and it will have a good impact on me too XDD
So, who will win?
Hmm.. choices... choices....

On the other note, Wo is proven to be a very psycho guy, when it comes to football. No, I mean when it comes to everything about him XD I realized it and I dunno why I still date him :P
He made a very nice blog, nice comment, and includes a very very unimportant calculation of the World cup final. Read his blog, you'll see what I mean. My eyes got hurt from reading too much number XDD What the heck is he trying to say, God hell I dunno O_o;;; I think he got too much sugar, or too much drinking aquarium water -_-;; Too much number, too little brain for me XD

All I can say is, let's just see what will happen on the final :P

{D-15}

{posted by Chibi on 6:38 PM} +

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Viva L'Italia !!

Muhahahaha I am so glad that Italy won the World Cup semifinal match with Germany last night XD
Italy won 2-0 against Germany, with the two goals from my lovely Del Piero and Grosso. Check out the pictures. Hmmm...
I know my boss is more excited than I do (surely because he is Italian XD), and it's a good thing because his mood today is very good then, hahahaha!

I still have a pretty hectic day today, but I think it helps to know that my boss is in a very nice state, so at least I don't have to handle lots of yelling or so :P
We had lunch together this afternoon at The Eastern (yeap!), then we hung out for a while at J.Co sipping his coffee and checked out some girls... kekeke.
I think I'm going to catch some flu, 'coz last night I felt my body is not very good, and this morning I still feel that way. I already took some vitamins, though. Let's hope it won't get any worse. Otherwise, I will beg my boss to let me take a day-off :P Phuhahah.

{D-16}

{posted by Chibi on 5:50 PM} +

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

My head aching...

It's a pretty boring day today -___-
I work at the office as usual, and went out to finish some works..., but still.
My head is aching, my body screams for a proper sleep, and I always hate to wake up in the morning and see my goddamned office again :P
I think I need another holiday. Or, another job XDD
But what can I say. *sigh* I need money, and I need affection. People can't seem to get both.

Are you ready maybe are you willing to run
Are you ready to let yourself drown
Are you holding your breath
Are you ready or not
Are you ready maybe do you long to confess
Do you feel that you're already numb
Are you sure of yourself
Would you lie if you're not
You tire me out don't want to let that happen
A secret scream so loud why did you let that happen

So put your arms around me

{Texas - Put Your Arms Around Me}

I need arms to hold me before I fall. But I guess I can't find one. Oh well.

{D-17}

{posted by Chibi on 6:13 PM} +

Monday, July 03, 2006

The World Cup is still the hot news

... Yes... everybody still talking about the great matches last weekend XD
Some of them dissapointed, and some of them cheered.

I watched the two games last weekend, when Portugal won and England lost. Well, I never really like Portugal (because there are less Portuguese players I knew), and I know my boyfriend loves England team so.., yeah. I feel kind of dissapointed too when they lost :P It's a pity, but oh well.
For me, there are still France and Italy (I love those team. I hate Brazil :P Brazil lost, hah! Good! XDD) Okay don't kill me, Brazilian fans XD
But for some people, the World Cup is over when England lost (or for Brazilian fans, when Brazil lost :P)
I still cross my fingers for France. But if France lost, at least there's Italy XD My boss is Italian, so I will support him no matter what. Hahaha! But actually I always love those Italian guys. I just hope they can play good this time :P
So, Vive la France ^^

{posted by Chibi on 7:02 PM} +

When the sun is shining

It's another week.
I just had a blast last weekend ^^ As I wished, my weekend was good. I spent my time with my friends, and especially my loved one.
The time flew so fast when you had fun, and it scared me 'coz it was so good.
I always thought there's a balance in this life. When you get a lot of happiness, one day you'll go through some sorrow. Just like there's a sun shines after the rain, there will be rain after the cloud, no? :)
And I know that I am happy now. I just wished that I won't be breaking down when it's time to leave all the happiness.

Let's just hope it would be a good week :)

{D-18}

{posted by Chibi on 6:41 PM} +

Saturday, July 01, 2006

Make a wonderful day for yourself

Weekend strikes!
Boy I really want to see how this weekend going on XD
Because I already been fed up with my weekdays, I think I really need the bliss of weekend... Where I can put myself at ease, maybe read some books, watch some videos, and even better if I can hang out with my boy. Hahahaha :P

But I don't want to push things, especially when it comes to make other feel uncomfortable. I just wanna have fun, that's all.
have a wonderful weekend, folks ^^

{D-20}

{posted by Chibi on 2:33 PM} +

Song:'80s-'90s songs; Matt Hires; some rocks
Obsession: Publishing my book
Reading: Horrible Histories
Movie: Clueless
Addiction: Books & Mp3
Project: Reviews and Translations