Friday, January 20, 2006

Damn you.

Because you always call me when I need you.
Because you always makes me laugh with your silly jokes.
Because you always give me what I want.
Because you always ease my hard days.
Because you always makes me happy just with a single message.
Because you always makes me cry when you annoy me.
Because you always complaining about my stupid behaviours.
Because you always try to make me happy.
Because you never let me know your feelings.

Damn it.

{posted by Chibi on 8:00 PM} +

Sowhere over the rainbow..

..I'm back in Jakarta again.
Whahh, it's Friday again already! Weekend comes so fast.
As you know in my previous entry, I spent last weekend in Bandung. Surprisingly, I even got in Wo's house :P It was fun, although... It might get him in some kind of trouble XD
Hmm.

I spent this week - almost entirely - at home... After what I've been through since the beginning of January... It has not been a month yet, but so many things already happened.
And it got me thinking.
But sometimes, I don't know what I've been thinking of.
I don't know what should I think.

Why I did this, why I did that.

What am I gonna through again.

What should I do next.

And all of these thoughts came through my mind every day... And sometimes it makes me hard to breathe. I'm not saying it's hard to think. But it's just too complicated. I don't know how to handle this.
All I can do is just, letting Him play the game he made.

Yes, I believe in Him. And that's why I believe that this life is a game that He made.
He's playing tricks on me XD I know that.
The question is, how am I gonna play this 'till the end.
How the ending is gonna be.

Because I'm the kind of person that lives for today, believe what I see and feel today... And I don't really care about what tomorrow's bring.
I always try to think positive, being optimistic.
But sometimes it becomes my hiding place, because deep inside, I know that actually I'm too scared to face it.
Keep on saying to myself, "That's okay, everything's gonna be fine."
Well, maybe, it's not gonna be fine. But I assure myself, it will.
Because if I don't, then I would fall in depression, and it's gonna hurt me.
I just don't wanna get hurt. Because it's painful already.
And only myself knew how much the pain is killing me. Beause no one can feel the pain, except me.
So I just tried to protect myself.

Am I wrong, to think that way?

Ah, I'm mumbling.

{posted by Chibi on 4:38 PM} +

Sunday, January 15, 2006

Escapade! XD

Weekend in Bandung!

Oh yeay! Look where I am now :P I'm in a room - but definitely not mine - and this is my first time stepin' inside here. LoL XD
I'm in Wo's room, and raping his computer *evil laugh* Surprise surprise!
I was in Cibaduyut, and he picked me up there, then took me to his house. Yes I met his dad - he's a nice man, by the way - and miraculously I went up to Wo's room alive. Hahaha!

How come I'm here, well, today I had a family party in Bandung - Cibaduyut area for exact. So me and my whole family (whole means WHOLE JAKARTA FAMILY, it's like, 100 people? More? O_o ) came to Bandung - some of them came since yesterday. But I came here this morning, with my dad, my grandma, uncle aunt cousins. Whew.
And we were about to go back to Jakarta this evening.

We? Na-ah. They, not I.
Muhahaha.

Since this is some kind of rare occasion, I decided to stay a bit longer in Bandung... Besides, a year ago, something monumental in my life happened. With this very guy :P Har har. I just wanna recollect the memories again *sigh*
So I'm here for sentimental reason XDDD *put on Kangta's mellow song, please*

So here I am :D
NO, of course I'm not gonna stay in his room O_o
I'm not planning to have suicide XDDDD

I'm staying in this place my aunt's recommended to me. It's pretty cheap, I just don't know where the hell is.
Okay. I need to eat.
He's on my back anyway -___- Log out.

p.s : Mon, are you still not yummy body? *hugs* Someone throws a bad curse on you XDD

{posted by Chibi on 8:44 PM} +

Saturday, January 07, 2006

Looking Back at Year 2005

It's a new year. And as I did last year, I would like to review what I had done for the last 365 days :P
I made a quick look at my diaries, and found out that... So many interesting events happened to me.
I've been sad, happy, angry, fell in love, broken hearted, and so on, and so on.
Here some little highlights.

January 2005.
+ Started year 2005 with Wo. My first new year's eve in Bandung without my family, but never thought this very day could turn my life into a new journey afterwards.
+ I failed on my thesis. I supposed to graduate this month, but I couldn't. This was a very depressing moment of the year.
+I kissed a man that is not my boyfriend. And since then,
+ I fell in love. So then...,
+ I had my so-called "romantic relationship" with this guy XD ... Until now.

April 2005.
+ ... Still in love.

May 2005.
+ Mon in Bandung for one day.

July 2005.
+ Working on my thesis like a mad dog.
+ Turned 24. Celebrate my birthday with Lina, while almost everyone forgot my birthday.

August 2005.
+ Got 'unique' bitrhday present from Mon XD
+ Broken hearted. But..
+ Still had the relationship.
+ had my final presentation. I graduated.

September 2005.
+ Leaving Bandung for good. Moved to Jakarta.
+ My uncle Rendro passed away. He was my favorite uncle, and someone who really meant in my life. God bless his soul.
+ Gloomy days of my family.

October 2005.
+ Had my graduation ceremony in Bandung. A farewell to school life.
+ Started to depressed because I still got no job and no money.

December 2005.
+ Had a blind date. And it wasn't that great.
+ Got a very interesting job offer.
+ Worked in my uncle's company. Fun and exhausting. Got busy and start going nutz.
+ Got a teaching job for Korean (again! ^^). But this time for Indonesian language.
+ My step father died.
+ Ran to Bandung secretly to spend new year's eve with Wo. Had a great time with him.

O Yeah.
So I started the year 2005 with Wo, and ended it with him too ^^ Of course, with a different meaning of 'friendship' too XD
Most of the dramatic moments happened on December. It's like, everything happened so fast, I didn't even have time to blink, or breathe, but I just had to walk through it all. And it was almost impossible without the support from my whole family, and of course, my super best friends. God gives me such great life last year, and it's a great lesson for life.

I wish this year could be much much better than last year. Every day is a journey, and He always makes it full of surprises ;)

Good luck for everyone!

{posted by Chibi on 8:16 PM} +

My First Blog in 2006

Hello, everyone! ^__^

Whaahh it's 2006 already. Where was I ??
I was very unbelievably busy lately. This December lots of things happened..., and everyday was another new story :P

This matters of business had consumed my time so much - I didn't even have time to pick and send Christmas cards for my friends *sobs* I know, I'm such a bad bad bad friend *slap myself*
I'm very very sorry. I'm ashamed of myself. Huks. I promise I'll make it up to you. I promise!!

I only got time to send out two christmas cards - no, one, because one of them I delivered it myself - to Mon's house, and to Wo .___.
Meanwhile, I recieved some christmas cards and presents from my friends all over the world ^^ Oh yeay!!
Thank youuuuuu!! *hugs all*

So. What happened to me.
I finally got a job. Two jobs, actually. So I have to deal with that, that's why my 24 hours/day is tightly scheduled.
Then, suddenly, two weeks ago, my step father died.
It was a motorcycle accident, he got hit pretty bad on his head. Only survived for 5 hours in the hospital, but then God made plan to take him. May he rest in peace.
My family - especially my mother was very shocked. Mum cried everyday, had a major break down. And I was worried because she has a fragile health. But thank God, when I went to Semarang last week, she was okay. Still very depressed, but at least she tried to face reality. I hope she could handle it much better now.

Last week - new year's eve - I made a little runaway to Bandung. Nobody knew where I was going, except my Dad. Because he was the one who drove me to the travel car. But we made a deal, he kept my secret and as a return I gave him some entertainment videos XDDD We're so partner in crime :P
Why did I go to Bandung? None other than to spend a new year with someone special. ^^
Yeahh. I spent my last year's new year's eve with Wo, and it was an unforgettable moment (which changed my life until now :P). So for this year, I wanted to spend it with him again.
And I did. I stayed in Dea's room for 2 nights - Dea was kindly gave her room as a compliment - because she suddenly had to stayed in Wenda's house. Har-har. Thanks, De ^^ I had my great new year.

Only two nights in Bandung, then at january 1st I went to Semarang by train to my step father's house, where my mum and sisters+brother stayed until January 3rd, then we went to Magelang - my aunt's house, because my mum needed to recover herself from the depression. At least she could find some tranquilty with my aunt and grandmother. Hmm.

I went back to Jakarta the next day from Semarang - three cities in one night! Whahh *__*
Magelang - Semarang - Jakarta. Too much traveling, yah XD
I had to hurry because I started working again in January 5th. Well, turned out they canceled it and my work starts January 9th - tomorrow. Heh. Oh well. At least I had extra holidays to relax for a while...
And so I wrote this blog :)

Huahh. I miss blogging. I miss you all.
Have a wonderful day, people ^^

{posted by Chibi on 7:48 PM} +

Song:'80s-'90s songs; Matt Hires; some rocks
Obsession: Publishing my book
Reading: Horrible Histories
Movie: Clueless
Addiction: Books & Mp3
Project: Reviews and Translations