Sunday, October 30, 2005

Holiday!

Well well well.
Hello there! :) It's been a while since my last time posting. Now.
I'm on vacation right now - yes, Idul Fitri holiday - and guess where I am.
I am in Magelang. It's a small town near Yogyakarta (Central Java, if you might not know). And the reason I am here is because my grandmother (fom my mother) was sick and her condition is still very serious. That's why my big family decided to all gather up in my uncle's house (here in Magelang) to celebrate LEbaran together with my grandma.

Well, it was a rush decision. At first I thought we're gonna spend the holiday and Lebaran day in Jakarta. But God had another plan :)
I went to Magelang with my sister, since my mum and all other sister already came here first. I took bus, and it was awful *__* I never got lucky with bus. Uhu.

But it's all good here, though. My grandma - even though she still in intensive care - but getting better everyday. And my cousins are nice, and even though it's sooooo hard to find interbet cafe here - I finally found one ! :) Okay, it's pretty slow and expensive, but at least I can contact the world. Kekeke. Keep in mind that Magelang is a very small town where you can't find any McDonalds. LOL.

The only thing i hate here is the ant bite T__T And my mother seem to nag me all the time. Blah.
Oh well.
Happy holiday, folks.

{posted by Chibi on 6:07 PM} +

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Call it Destiny

Have you ever found someone that you like so much, that perfectly suits you, that you even think he/she could be the lost soulmate; but you just can't have him/her?

It's like, you found a gorgeous pair of Manolo Blahnik stiletto that goes perfectly matched with your evening gowns, or cropped pants, or even your leather skirt. And that shoes are in your size, as in custom-made, designed only for you, in your favourite color. And you can wear it for hours without killing your legs.
But sadly, you can't have those shoes, because it belongs to Krisdayanti .___.
And it's just too expensive you'd never afford to buy it.
The only chance you could have that shoes is hoping that Krisdayanti would hate that shoes and kindly give it to you.
Hah.

Life sucks, isn't it?

(p.s : Why Krisdayanti? I dunno, a friend told me and she just shushed me up, said that 'it's just an example.' Oh well. You got the point.)

{posted by Chibi on 2:22 PM} +

It's a Bitter-sweet Life..

A little advice for the boys out there.
Just because she didn't do anything particularly beneficial for you, as a friend (or girlfriend or whatever), it doesn't mean that she didn't deserve a little attention.
Girls love attention, you know ;)

...

I am having a pretty nice life here - so far (despite the fact that I'm totally broke, unemployed, have only few friends, and I got cough & flu during the whole week). But even though it's oh-so-quiet, there were many things happened around me.
My grandmother from my mother side was sick, and now she's still under intensive care at the hospital. She's very old, and I know that she really really wants to see me - especially after I told her that I already graduated. The problem is, I still have no clue when I would get a job test in here - Jakarta, and make a trip schedule to visit her in Pekalongan. That is... around 7 hours driving car. Or train. My mum goes there today.
And also the fact that I'm still sick. I still got coughs - even though my flu is getting much much better now, but sometimes the dizziness and the fever thing just came up. I even threw up 3 times yesterday - I hardly could breathe with so much liquid things in my throat, nose, and lung O_o. $#!t.

But lucky that I live with my family now - they took care of me very well. My grandma (from my dad) cares so much about me (although, I don't think she loves me that much again after she saw the phone bill yesterday. Ooops.) And my dad (miraculously) stayed at home for more than 3 days! And he even cover me up when my grandma ranted about the telephone bills. He just laughed and squinted, said, "I know it's you. You made those phone calls, right?" That's it. No bitching O_o How can I not love him. (Okay, I hate him often. Especially when he played the same song over and over again on my winamp. Or whenever he annoyed me - like, everyday. Sheessh).

I know we all have our own problems, and family support is very helping. While some of my friends lately having their problems too, but they didn't have much support on their lives. And pathetically, they decided to avoid their problems by committing suicides.
O_o
Seriously.
It still got me shivered how people could decide to end their lives like that - I mean, what was they thinking? Did they really think Death can solve their problems? .__. Okay, I admit, there were times when I thought I just wanna die. But it wasn't a serious thought, really. Just think how much you can achieve when you're alive.
I tried as much as I could to help as a friend, give them support when they need it. I really don't wanna lose friend that way. Maybe it's hard to face the problems alone, but they should know that they still have me, friends and family who will support. And never forget God. No matter how bitter life is, I wish my friends get better and get over those crazy thoughts about killing/hurting themselves.

Meanwhile, I was kinda lost attention from a friend - okay, a guy that I used to date with - during my sickness time. It sucks, you know, when you send messages almost everyday to him, but there was no response at all. And when you finally picked up the phone and asked how he was doing - about why he didn't call and hoping that he missed you - he just said "I'm so damn busy, it didn't cross my mind." Ahah. Don't you feel the agony here? Hmm. That was exactly he said to me *rolls eyes* Hurt, wasn't it?
Well, maybe it was a joke or probably there's a surprise game behind that careless words, but still, I'm a human. Female. Be nice!
But after that he called me back and confessed (that he actually was busy but he secretly made a little surprise for me - Hah! It's not even my birthday!), and yes, I already spoiled the surprise. But knowing that he did that to make me happy, it made me feel like I wanna kick his butt off and kiss him on the same time :P I think I'll never understand boys and their surprises *_* Just keep in mind that it was a sweet thing to do (of course, minus the I-pretend-to-ignore-you game part) ^__^ Yes, annoyingly sweet :D I think that's why I like him so much.

I think he'll read this entry. Or not.

Oh hell with it.

{posted by Chibi on 2:16 PM} +

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Desperately...

It's a hot hot day. And I'm fasting, so I can't grab an ice cream or any cool drink TT_TT
Uhuw.
Few weeks living in Jakarta, I feel miserable already :P

I started to hate my life. Seriously. I don't have any interesting thing to do, don't have anything that can get me even a penny.
How can I love life like this?

Compare to what I gained in Bandung. Every second I work on, I got paid for that. By the end of the week, I got myself a decent amount of money so I could happily hang around the cafes with my friends, and having a nice dinner with my date, and maybe (if I'm lucky) get a romantic night in bed. And I could spent the rest of the week doing maybe a little shopping, hang around everywhere I want, having a nice chit chat with every person I met. It went on and on until the next week, which is the next pay day.

Now. I moved to jakarta, right after my graduation day. I live with my Grandma, and (sometimes) my dad (if he ever gets home). Shame on me, I'm 24. And I don't even have a boyfriend. What could ever be worse than a young 24 year-old girl, single, unemployed, broke, and still lives with her family? I practically don't have a life here. Uh-uh.

Okay, maybe some of you think that that ain't that bad.
Well I tell ya what. I've been living alone since I graduate high school, through my college years, earning my own money, living my own life, being a good socialite, having a nice relationship with men, basicly, I had a pretty nice life! I loved my life.

And now that I'm here, I practically back to sub-zero. Don't get me wrong, my family didn't do anything bad. In fact, they feed me well - much better than when I was living alone, yes surely - and keeping me safe from any harm.
And that's the problem.
I can't get out without pernission, I can't drive a car or riding a motorcycle, so I simply have to use public transportation. Well hello, I don't have any money to pay the transportation. Meaning I have to cut hanging out times, or any social activities. Sure, my friends can always visit me. But please do remember that I live in an outskirt of the city, and I have limited friends here.
That affecting a lot in my romance life. I left my heart in Bandung, what can I say, so I simply broken hearted and lonely here. And even if I do finally found someone else to cover and dating, well surely I can't just drag him home and spending romantic nights with him on my bed *rolls eyes*
And it sucks.

Okay, don't say that I'm just ranting and whining. I started to find a decent job since few weeks ago. Well, so far I got few interview appointments, just wish me luck and get the good result^^ I really really need a job, desperately need income. Now if you - whoever you are - read this entry and feel pity for me, please inform me any kind of decent job that a fresh graduate from politics & social science could get. Thankyou.

And my family started acting over-friendly by "incidentally" knew "someone" (read : a guy) that they thought maybe I could "hang out" with. And maybe could be friends. Then become more than friends. Mm-hmmm.
Well I don't decline arranged meetings/blind dates, so..., yeah. So far I just got phone numbers, no date .__. Whatever.
And I still can hang out with my friends (and/or aunts/cousins/grandma) sometimes, y'know, from malls to cafes. But my saving account is decreasing rapidly, I just realized it yesterday when I went out to Blok M with Ame and whaddayaknow, I couldn't even get a cup of Starbucks with my debit card! *sobs*
How could I live like this??

I just live nearly a month here, and I hate my life already. Somebody give me a job, money, or simply just shoot me.

{posted by Chibi on 4:26 PM} +

Saturday, October 01, 2005

Wisuda!

Wheeee akhirnyaaaaa...
Tadi pagi gue wisuda! :D *bangga* Gile dengan kondisi kesehatan gue yang ancur2an, ajaib gue bisa bertahan dalam ruang GSG yang penuh manusia dan terkurung dalam kebaya dan toga gue yang kedodoran XDD

Sebenernya gue ga niat mo kemana-mana, apalagi setelah meninggalnya Mas Rendro, om gue, minggu lalu. Gue masih syok banget, dan saking capenya gue sampe sakit batuk dan teman-temannya... sampe skarang -__-;;;
Tapi wisuda ini kan sekali seumur hidup... dan lagian gue udah nyiapin dari jauh-jauh hari about this day. Yeah, rencana awal yang dateng emang Eyang, tapi dengan kondisi kaya sekarang ini, akhirnya cuma nyokap aja yang bisa nemenin gue di Bandung ini.

Persiapan wisuda gue serba mepet. Gue ga prepare gimana-gimana. Kebaya gue emang nyewa dari tante gue, tapi gue pilih yang sesimple mungkin. Gue pake kebaya encim putih yang nyaman tanpa hiasan macem2 XD Sebenernya gue ga niat ke salon, tapi tadi pagi gue ga mampu bikin cepol sendiri, akhirnya minta bantuan salon anaknya ibu kos gue... huahahahahhaa... mana gue dandan baru jam 8, padahal udah harus ngumpul di kampus sebenernya jam setengah 9 O_o Akhirnya gue baru kelar dandan jam 9, dan langsung ngibrit ke kampus.

Sampe kampus telaaatt... harusnya semua wisudawan udah masuk ruangan. Gue (dengan kebaya gue) lari ke GSG, untungnya dihadang ama Mas Heru dari TU yang dengan sabarnya makein toga gue dan ngebawa gue masuk lewat pintu samping, pass abis tu para rektor dan dekan memasuki ruangan XDD Slametlah gue, huehehehehehe ^^

Setelah cukup basi di ruangan GSG, akhirnya gue maju ke panggung dan disingkirin tali toga gue dari kiri ke kanan, salam2an ama bapak Dekan dan Rektor diiringi blitz-blitz kamera entah siapa, gue kembali basi di dalam GSG itu sampe jam setengah satu siang! Gue udah telpon2an ama Mon, bangunin Wowo, SMS-an ama orang2 sedunia XDD

Akhirnya gue bisa kluar dan langsung disambut ama nyokap, adek2 gue, Youngshin, Wenda, Wowo, dll... hueheuheuheuehe... Abis poto2an ama mereka, dan ama temen2 gue, trus kita makan di SentraKampus. Cape banget, laper banget, dan pas gue pulang, udah ada Nindi di rumah yang memulai sesi curhatnya dengan tangisan O_o But I wish she could get over her problem soon *hugs Nindi*

Skarang gue online tengah malem sambil makan indomi goreng kornet.. Hmmm udah lama gue ga ngelakuin ini sejak pindah Jakarta.. hiks...
Kemaren aja gue puas-puasin jalan ama Wowo, ke Kota Kembang cari DVD, dan ke PiZet beli sendal jepit Roxy inceran gue (Yeayy!!!). Sempet juga ke Hypermart, walopun cuma dapet obat batuk dan minyak kayu putih XD

Gue sebenernya musti balik Jakarta besok... tapi kok gue capek banget ya.. Dan kondisi badan gue masih ga fit banget nih... Hmmm, apa Senin aja ya pulangnya... ;)

{posted by Chibi on 11:17 PM} +

Song:'80s-'90s songs; Matt Hires; some rocks
Obsession: Publishing my book
Reading: Horrible Histories
Movie: Clueless
Addiction: Books & Mp3
Project: Reviews and Translations