Monday, August 29, 2005

Stuck in my head

The song stuck in my head. Dammit.

...

Darlin', I was hoping that we could pretend
And make believe that we could still live happily
And start again
Seems like you and I, we've been caught up in your world of lies
I kept believing we could start anew
And be a friend

Well I've got something I've wanted to tell you
And it's the last thing I thought I could say
But I think I must go there anyway...

Goodbye
How do you say goodbye?
Do I just look you in the eye,
Shake your hand, wish you well
After all this time...
I never wanted for goodbye

Don't let go
I was devoted to your heart and soul
And then we took a turn
And I had to learn
What I tried not to know

Seems like yesterday
I'd give the world just to hear you say
A simple whisper of a word or two
Like "I love you"
It breaks my heart to see it end this way

...

Don't get me wrong. It's not that I broke up or anything, since there's no one I could break up with :P
But most of the lyrics (not all) just hit me in the damn right spot. And yes, I've been (and still) dealing with 'goodbye' lately.
Do you feel?

{posted by Chibi on 12:11 AM} +

Sunday, August 28, 2005

Hmmmm.

Packed weekend. Well, mungkin karena ini wiken trakhir gue bersenang-senang sebelum sidang >__<
Dari kemaren udah full banget ampe gue nyaris ga bisa napas.
Walopun Sabtu, kmaren gue masih ngelesin Youngshin pagi-pagi (soalnya gue kan bakal absen Senin sampe Rabu depan). Selesai before lunch time, trus gue ke rumah Anita buat ngambil CD. Ternyata malah dia yang pengen ke rumah gue XD

Sebelum itu, Abi, sepupu gue dari Yogya sempet SMS kalo dia ada di Bandung dan minta anterin jalan. Jadi abis dari rumah Anita, gue langsung ke hotel tempat Abi nginep ama neneknya di Buah Batu (!!! O_o) naik taksi. Ternyata, nenek minta dianterin ke rumah sodaranya di Jalan Ancol (!!!! O_o;;) Dengan berbekal peta di tangan, dan Abi sebagai supir, gue akhirnya berhasil menemukan itu jalan Ancol setelah hampir kesasar dua kali. Yess! *bangga*
Abis dari rumah sodara nun jauh di sana itu, kita menuju Dago soalnya Abi pengen beli oleh-oleh dan cari baju (sekaligus menyalurkan niat ngeceng di jalanan Bandung). Kita ke Kartikasari, ke Heritage, dan berencana dinner di Suis Butcher. Tapi..., namanya juga Bandung di malem minggu. Setelah bermacet-macet ria sampe Setiabudi, ternyata tu tempat full mampuix. Akhirnya balik ke arah Cihampelas, dan berakhir di Glosis Ciwalk XDD Setelah nyaris ga dapet parkir selama setengah jam dan masuk waiting list sekitar sepuluh menitan, buntutnya gue tetep ga bisa ngabisin beef cordon bleu yang gue pikir sanggup gue sikat habis saking lapernya :P

Jam 22.30 kita balik ke hotel. Ajaib, selama perjalanan gue bener-bener jadi guide yang baik buat Abi. Nggak nyasar sedikitpun. Tanpa peta (tadi peta hanya berlaku untuk mencari daerah Ancol..)! Gue bener-bener mengenali setiap belokan dan jalanan yang gue lewatin. Padahal biasanya kalo jalan sama temen-temen, gue yang paling buta arah di Bandung ini :P Ternyata ga sia-sia juga gue tinggal selama 6 taun di kota ini ya^^

Gue pulang ke Ciumbuleuit sekitar midnight, naik taksi sendiri dari hotel karena Abi nggak berani nganterin gue pulang. Iyalah, dia beneran ga tau jalan! XD Sebenernya dia masih pengen jalan, tapi kan besok paginya dia musti nyetir balik ke Semarang dan harus nemenin nenek pula ;] Kekeke. Next time lah ya, Bi >:D<
Sepanjang perjalanan pulang, di taksi, gue cuma bisa diem ngeliatin pemandangan Bandung tengah malem. Seru. Banyak lampu-lampu bagus. Ngelewatin Braga. Jalan Sunda. Gue bener-bener mengamati tiap sudut jalan, tiap keramaian kafe, taman kota, lampu-lampu di pohon, di jalan... Kapan lagi gue bakal menikmati pemandangan Bandung kaya gini. Mungkin ini terakhir kalinya gue melewati tempat-tempat itu di malam hari. Sendirian.
Hmmm.

Dan hari ini, gue ke BAIS school untuk terakhir kalinya. Trus ke Ciwalk ama Youngshin, karena dia pengen jalan bareng gue untuk yang terakhir kalinya. Foto di potobox. Lunch bareng di Platinum. Pulang sore, trus Andini dan Lina dateng. Seperti biasa, ngoprek CD dan video sambil ngegosip^^
Hari ini gue capek, mood naik turun, tapi puas.
Hmmmm.

{posted by Chibi on 11:06 PM} +

Friday, August 26, 2005

Things are not easy.

Days went by. Pretty fast.
I've packed my bags. I told my friends and students that I'm moving away.
And... it was not easy.

Last Sunday my grandma told me to packed all my bags and get ready to return to Jakarta. hell, I can't do just like that O_o;;;
But then my dad compromised, he just wanted to come to my place to take all my goodies so at least there will be less stuffs to carry when I'm actually moving out.

So... I packed all my stuffs into boxes. All the books, the CDs, dolls, pictures,... I couldn't hold my tears while I was packing.
I've been living here for the whole damn 5 years. It's my home. And now I have to leave. And never come back.
I have all the memories in this city. In my house. In my room. And it's not that easy to leave it all behind.
I cried, feeling scared that I'd be lonely. Fells like I don't have anyone to hold on to. Fells like I don't have a place that I could call my own.

But I know I have to move on. Wo told me so too when I was weeping in front of him. It was my choice, and more like obligation for me. I sold my soul, and I have to surrender now. And, hopefully, earn to buy it back.
So all I have to do now is just be ready. I know I can. I made this plan *rolls eyes* I have to let it go. I'm still counting the days, fillin' it up with all the memories. Hoping that I could carry it wherever I go.
But then again, it's not that easy.
Well, it's never easy.

{posted by Chibi on 4:17 PM} +

Sunday, August 21, 2005

Whatta Week

So tired. But felt so good^^
Well, maybe because the biggest burden in my life had gone (okay, not all, but at least I just need to do the final test :P)
Why tired? Because I still have to take care the eenie weenie things for the administration - for the final test. Goodness, I do believe my school does reallllly suck .__.

Well, but at least I can sleep better at night^^ Although the bureaucracies were unbelievably disgusting, but I managed to get through it all, one by one.
I finally got the test schedule, yeay!
It will be on the last day of this month, and the super good news is I'll get tested by the top three supernice lecturers in my campus (including Mr. Arie, my whitelighter^^) I couldn't help smiling all the way from the administration room to the phone booth, calling Dea immediately to tell her the good news, ignoring the weird looks from those freshmen (Hah! Freshmen! Welcome to Unpar hell! You think you'd get out easy? You wish!) ggeugeugeueguegueguge XDDDD

Now. I just need to settle some things done (the f*ckin' administration), and prepare for the test. I'm so damn nervous, even though the lecturers are the most generous men ever, but the problem is... I wrote crap.
TT__TT
I have to make a presentation of my crap. It's a bloody crap, what else should I say? XDD All I have to do is making those crap looks beautiful. Heh >__>

And the other thing is, I have to prepare to move out.
Yeap, that's right, I'll moving out. Not just from the house that I've been living in for the whole 5 years, but also from this forsaken town that I love more than any place I've ever been.
I'll go back to Jakarta. Probably a week after my final test. I know it sounds surprising, too rushed, but I've been thinking about this since few months ago. And not so many people knew about this (till now) too.
Many reasons, many complicated reasons that urge me to do so. It is my will to move back to Jakarta, but also it is my duty, a promise to keep, an unfinished business.
And although it is so damn hard to leave this place, but I know I just have to. And I want to.
Hmmmm.
So many things to think about, I guess that's why I'm so tired. Thank God it's weekend^^
Have a nice weekend.

{posted by Chibi on 12:55 AM} +

Saturday, August 13, 2005

After The Storm

Whew. How I miss a nice and peaceful weekend. Like tonight^^
I've finished my crap! OH YEAY FINALLY!!! XDDD

Yes. Finally. After almost a year, I finally get this crap done. Dan sebenernya kalo mo jujur, semua gue kebut sebulan belakangan ini. Dan masa-masa terkritis adalah enam hari terakhir, terhitung sejak hari Senin kemarin XD

Yeah, sejak Senin kemarin gue nyaris sama sekali ga bisa bobo, ga bisa makan, dan ga misa mikir apa-apa selain gimana caranya nyusun kata-kata buat isi bab 3 dan 4 skripsi gue XD
Gue ampe udah bener-bener nyaris sinting, apalagi deadline sebenernya hari Kamis kemarin. And what happened Kamis kemarin?
Disaster.
A TOTAL disaster.

Gue selesai semua sampah itu hari Rabu malam, dan gue udah terhuyung-huyung ngasih tu disket ke tempat penjilidan. Ternyataaa...

Disaster #1: Pas hari Kamis pagi gue ambil, itu banyak salah ketik, dan penyusunan halaman yang kacau sangat O_o Mas Arie (dosen gue tercinta) sampe nyuruh gue jilid ulang dan ngebenerin beberapa bagian yang acakadul. So gue langsung minta penundaan ke jurusan buat ngumpulin draft gue Sabtu pagi. Untung banget pengurus jurusan gue baik sangat XD

Disaster # 2 : Walopun draft gue bisa nyusul, tapi urusan administrasi lainnya harus udah diberesin. Gue udah nyerahin surat bebas pinjam perpustakaan, surat bimbingan, formulir pengajuan sidang, transkrip nilai terakhir... NAH, ternyata ada satu nilai gue yang KAGA ADA DI TRANSKRIP. O___o
Dan itu nilai SEMINAR, alias sidang skripsi pertama gue (!!!!) Gue langsung ngurus ke Administrasi, dan bener-bener udah nyaris gila pas gue liat kalo nilai gue emang kosong. Boong bangeeett! jelas-jelas gue masih inget sidang gue dulu dapet nilai 81, alias A, dan dosen gue itu ya Mas Arie.
Udah setengah nangis, gue langsung ke ruangannya Mas Arie dan minta pertanggungjawaban XD Untungnya, setelah proses yang beribet sangat dan melibatkan orang-orang penting di Fisip (termasuk para pegawai TU yang gue repotin nyari-nyari nilai gue), akhirnya gue berhasil memperoleh kembali nilai A gue yang hilang itu *sobs* Dan semua yang ngurus kekacauan itu adalah Mas Arie, my angelic lecturer. Oh, have I told you that I love him? I love him. Kalo ga ada dia, mungkin gue udah bunuh diri terjun bebas dari atap gedung Fisip :P

Disaster # 3 : Masalah nilai gue udah kelar, tapi ternyata urusan keuangan gue ada yang ngaco juga. Masa gue terhitung punya denda pembayaran O__o;;; Sampe-sampe pembantu dekan dan pengurus administrasi keuangan gue ikutan bingung dan panik XD Once again, setelah urusan belibet dengan para orang penting di kampus, skarang gue cuma bisa nunggu keputusan Pembantu Rektor gue buat menyetujui surat permohonan pembebasan denda gue *huiks* And all that mess cuma gara-gara gue nggak lapor daftar ulang bulan Februari lalu :P Kampret.

With all those happenings, aermata yang udah gue tahan-tahan sejak nongkrongin ruang TU akhirnya banjir jugak pas udah nyampe rumah dan ditelpon ama Wowo XD Bahkan anak-anak serumah ga ada yang berani ngedeketin gue (kalo menurut Dea, gue lagi 'tegangan tinggi banget', kalo dideketin bisa mampuix. LOL!)
Tapi emang bener juga sih, sejak awal ketegangan Senin lalu, gue sama sekali tidak membiarkan siapapun mendekati and bahkan gue mengunci diri di kamar kaya orang psycho :P Kayanya kalo ada yang brani-brani deket gue ato nyolek dikit udah gue gigit, wakakaka!

But it's all been done now. Saya sudah kembali ke peradaban, kekeke. Skrispi gue udah kelar, dan satu-satunya yang bisa gue harapin sekarang cuma pembantu rektor itu mau ngeberesin masalah administrasi gue dan ngasih gue jadwal sidang secepetnya :P

Sekarang weekend, I just wanna take a good rest. Well, even though it would be better to have a nice weekend with nice person *cough8cough*, but being here with only me and a cup of mocchachino would do me good too ^^
Besok pagi gue bakal ke Sky FM lagi. Since tomorrow we will discuss about K-pop, I hope it'll be better than last week. Ehehehe.

Have a nice weekend, people! :D

{posted by Chibi on 11:59 PM} +

Monday, August 08, 2005

Give me baby one more time

I always complain how Monday came and gone too fast. Well it did.
These weeks are my final weeks for my thesis deadline, which means I'm counting every second and use it as much as I could to finish this crap. And I'm tellin' ya, 24 hour is never enough -___-;; I still have 48 hour now before the last day to submit it, and I really don't know will it be enough. Yes, I'm in panic mode now.

Starting last weekend, I'm working my butt off to get this thing done. I couldn't do this crap optimally at first, because, you know. It was weekend *_* Damn it. How hard I've tried to be unsocialized, but I have a life. And my life demanded to socialize. Some of my friends came by and I was spending half day with them, and another half in front of my computer, trying so damn hard to concentrate finishing the thesis.
On Sunday, I didn't go to BAIS church as usual but I went to Sky FM studio and co-hosting a live radio show called "The Oriental Touch" with my friend Nissa (the DJ). And there's also Tina and her friends. It was great. The show was great. It wasn't my first time co-hosting a live radio show, but still, talking on-air on a radio show got me a bit nervous especially when there's a lot of questions about something that I didn't really know (e.g., Chinese dramas? Kim Hee Sun's dramas? Hell should I know! XD) LOL!! So I'm really sorry if some of you heard the show andmaybe got a bit dissapointed. But we're having a good time there^^ I think we'll gonna do it again next week, or anytime soon^^ And I hope it'll be better.
The radio show was only two hours in the morning (from 9 to 11 am every Sunday on Sky FM 90.50 hosted by Nissa <-- iklan ginih XD - in case you would like to hear it^^ ), but it didn't mean I went straight home after that. We're hangin' out at Biz-Cafe afterwards, then went out with Cita's friend Nathan, and crashed at Midori - a new Japanese restaurant in Dago - for lunch. Before heading home after lunch, we decided to try the massage service at Midori too. It was a compliment from the restaurant - which one of the employee was apparently a friend of Cita's boyfriend - and the massage was niiiccee^^

Got home by 5.30 pm., do you think I could just hop in front of my computer and write some crap about industry? No. I fell asleep 'till 8 and went to get some dinner with Dea then. Guess the massage was so damn good, my body got too relaxed XD
Plus the lack of sleep for the last few weeks, well no wonder I got so sleepy. I was starting to write again at around 11 pm, and since then I was still struggling to find a decent words to write *__* God please. Every two pages the only word came out from my mouth was 'shit' of 'fuck'. I'm surprised that none of those words included in my 150 pages thesis :P

Now I'm online 'coz 1) I hate facing my computer in my room; and 2) I need some morer data about TV industry; and 3) I need to breathe. I miss the world outside my bloody room.

Pray for me, people.

{posted by Chibi on 10:59 PM} +

Friday, August 05, 2005

Midweek Fun, Hectic Weekend

Oh yes it's Friday finally. Or unfortunately? Hmmm. Depends XD
My thesis crap hasn't finished yet, that's unfortunately, but I finally get the weekend to concentrate on it since I don't have to tutoring on weekends. Hurray.

And one good thing happened today was after I finally reached Mr. Arie's house (in far far away land -__-), he gave me the final touch so I could do the last part of my thesis. Oh yeessss^^
So all I have to do is bury myself in those books and type nonstop until all those craps finish by next Monday.

Well lucky 'coz I already had fun last Thursday, when Mon came to Bandung~! ^__^

Yeah she always came surprisingly XD So while her parents were making a visit of condolence in Kopo, Mon and me and Wo took a city tour with angkot and feet XD We went all the way from Omuniuum, stopped at Gramedia to deposit our heavy baggies, strolled up to Setiabudi to Rumah Mode (where Mon found cute tees and Wo got me a cute little Bear mug as a HP accesory) , M&M, Monik distro (where she found a cute boxer but was too small for her dearie), and down to ITB (where she found a delicious design book and spent her money on it :P) and crashed at Happening where Mon's mum and dad's final stop.
We had a really wonderful time - although my heels nearly killed me! XD

After Mon and her parent went back to Jakarta, me and Wo went back to Omuniuum - where he left his motorcycle - and he rode me home after we bought some yummy kwetiaw in jl. Aceh ^^ You should taste it, Mon dear ^^

The first thing I did when I crashed my room was opening the presents Mon gave to me. Oh yes she gave me a very, very interesting present *winks* me and Wo liked it XD And everybody loves the voodoo doll (except Wo, I think he worried if I ever would use the spell on him. Hmm XD)
And even tough I would love to tase maybe a gulp or two of the liqueurs she gave me, but I just had to save my energy - and sanity - to write my crap :P
So after Wo went back home, I was back right in front of my computer and typing again till I fell asleep.

And now it's weekend finally, Imma type again till I get bored and hopefully able to hand all the crap to Mr. Arie next Monday. Unless, of course, Mon would come to Bandung again tomorrow and maybe we could stay in Wo's house to bug him and his mother *LOL* Kidding. But we hope it would be true XD

Have a nice weekend, y'all! ^__^

{posted by Chibi on 11:24 PM} +

Monday, August 01, 2005

Loveholic.

Kalau ada rumah sakit ketergantungan obat, kenapa nggak ada rumah sakit kecanduan cinta?
Padahal jelas banyak orang yang sakaw karena cinta. Kecanduan cinta. Emangnya kecanduan cinta itu enak?
Enak memang pada awalnya. Sama dahsyatnya kaya obat-obatan yang musti disuntik atau dihirup itu. Padahal obat-obat itu mahal, dapetnya susah, dan ilegal pula.
Lha cinta? Ada dimana-mana, gratis, dan bisa terjadi pada siapa aja.
Tapi efeknya sama mematikannya kalau udah bikin orang kecanduan.
Jatuh cinta setengah mampus, padahal ketika cinta itu hilang sakitnya minta ampun. Banyak korban putus cinta yang akhirnya bunuh diri.
Atau kasus yang hampir sama, jatuh cinta tapi orang yang dicintai itu tidak memberikan respon.
Nah, siapa yang sakaw? Sakit sendiri kan. Nangis-nangis sendiri. Patah hati sendiri.
Banyak yang nyaris bunuh diri saking sakitnya.
Tapi siapa yang peduli?
Karena masalah cinta itu masalah jiwa. Jadi kalau orang sakit cinta, masuknya rumah sakit jiwa?
Yah, sepertinya begitu. Orang yang jatuh cinta kan memang gila.
Ketawa-ketawa sendiri, senyum-senyum sendiri, paranoid, cemburu nggak jelas, berkhayal macam-macam, nangis-nangis sendiri...
Sialan.
Aku memang harusnya masuk rumah sakit jiwa, ya.

{posted by Chibi on 9:19 PM} +

Song:'80s-'90s songs; Matt Hires; some rocks
Obsession: Publishing my book
Reading: Horrible Histories
Movie: Clueless
Addiction: Books & Mp3
Project: Reviews and Translations