Ratri (aka Chibi): female 210781 | Indonesian, Jakarta-Bandung
University graduate: Int'l Relations | Occupation: Freelance Writer
Languages: Indonesian & English | Music freak: Kpop - Jpop - R&B
Openly admitting to love Sailor Moon | Books addict | Hates spicy foods
Mild agyrophobia | Blogging since 200903
Sunday, October 31, 2004
WEEKEND WITH INSIGHT
Mon had finished our new fiction forum *Yeayy!! ^o^ hugs Mon*, it's Fiction Fetish - and this forum goes to all who loves to read and write.
So, you fiction lovers, I command you to click on the banner in this blog ^^
After some serial problems I went through with my family - depressing times with my thesis, well, I realize thatI have to settle things up one by one. I may not be strong, but I'm sure there's always a way and God wilp help - in His many ways.
To enlighten my mood, I spent this weekend with my old friends from Insight - my old group of friends - with a gathering party at Ai's house. It was quite fun, although my mod wasn't really good, but, yeah, it was pretty good.
And today was part 2 of Insight gathering, with some shopping time and photo sessions ^^
I'm so tired today, especially after a minimum sleep from last night and working part-time as babysitter in BAIS this morning (I had to carry 3 kids, and they were all crying for mommies -_- ) I couldn't even move my right arm this afternoon XD
Not to mention that today was a verrrry hot day, I almost couldn't make it >_<
But everything's fine now, I had my sleep and meal, still kinda tired but at least my mood is getting better ^^ And plus, Mon gave me the Banjun's song I was looking for. How can I not love her?!? I tink I'll sleep with a smile tonight.
^______^
Tomorrow's another day, another week. FIGHTING!
{posted by Chibi on 9:44 PM} +
Thursday, October 28, 2004
My Place In This World
But I am standing still
A life of pages waiting to be filled
A heart that's hopeful
A head that's full of dreams
But this becoming harder than it seems
Feels like I'm looking for a reason
Roaming through the night to find
My place in this world
Not a lot to lean on
I need Your light to help me find
My place in this world
If there are millions down on their knees
Among the many, can You still hear me?
Hear me asking where do I belong?
Is there a vision that I can call my own?
Show me...
{Michael W. Smith}
{posted by Chibi on 11:01 PM} +
I'M RAMBLING.JUST..
This week was a pretty hard week for me.
Got so many problems come up - heh, it looks like I have some kind of endless problems, right? Haha.
I personally got sick of these mess. But I just can't just ignore it or make the whole mess just disappear with a snap of fingers.
People has their own problem, with their own thoughts and they just find their own way out. Sometimes it's hard, sometimes it's not that hard.
Sometimes I feel like I can do anything, sometimes I just feel like I can't go on.
Lately I've been thinking, and I felt like a total loser who just can't do the right thing.
Everything I did was wrong, every effort I made to make it up just useless, and everyone just can't take the way I did.
I feel like I'm losing my dignity as a human being. Who am I. I'm just a simple girl, trying to live my life, trying to get some happiness of my own.
Was it really that simple?
There were times when I thought I could bear any problems.
I just ignored anyone who would stand in my way, coz I live for myself and no one can tell me what to do.
No. I'm not living for myself. I live for myself, and for my mom, my dad, my family.
And things just getting harder when you don't get any good support from them.
Things just don't go that simple.
I love them, and I always thought that they would support me in whatever I do to live my life. But why don't I feel that way?
And I thought I can just encourage myself. Man I was wrong.
There were times when I felt like it'd be easier if I die. I just wanna die. Honest.
But then again, can death solve any problem? No. Probably it could be worse.
Then again, death means a coward way to run away from life, run away from the problems.
And I refuse to die as a chickenshit.
But I'm still a loser now, and what I hate most about myself is, I don't know how to not become a loser.
I don't know what to do when what's right or wrong is so blur in front of my eyes.
I know God wouldn't let His creature suffer from any trial he/she can't bear. And I'm sure He'll always guide me to get through all these.
But for goodness sake, it's hard.
.............
I'm rambling. *_*
{posted by Chibi on 10:45 PM} +
Saturday, October 23, 2004
WEEKEND FULL OF VIDS
Mine started at 10.30 am, when I woke up this morning :P
Jovi said she'd come, but then she called and showed up at 12. She dropped some Shinhwa vids for me O_o Oh yeayy yeayy! Thanks, beyb! <33
Just a few minutes after Jovi called, Anita called and told me to come to her place. So I told her I'd come at 2, after Jovi came by.
Aaandd, Tanti asked me to company her to buy some CD O_o
Ookay. Too much plans.
So, Jovi came by at 12, gave me some CDs. Then right after she left at 12.30, I took a shower 'coz I promised Tanti to be at her place by 1 pm. Then off we went CD shopping (with Inge too - and it was a real shopping, coz they bought like 100 CDs? O_o)
And after that I went straight to Anita's - since the weekend traffic jam, I arrived at 3. Just on time, 'coz Anita just got home from her campus :P
Had a good time at her place ^^ Watched so many CDs, picking up some good shows - things like that.
Huahh, it's been a while since the last time I met her, and she choke me up with loads of videos. XDD And she just couldn't get enough of my CDs too, so we were craving for eachother. LOL. Way to go, girlfriend ^^
After dark, Anita had to go with her boyfriend, so I decided to go home - with loads of her CDs ^o^ Ohoho.
Okay. So now I got lots of MVs, TV shows, all Korean. XDD And I don't even know when can I watch those things. Oh well, there's always Sunday ^^
Weekend, what else can I say, is the time to relax and have some fun!
My mom is so gonna kill me :P
It's weekend, baby!
{posted by Chibi on 11:21 PM} +
MY SONGS!
+ Expose - I'll Never Get Over You (Getting Over Me)
reason : old 'n cheesy^^
+ Elva Xiao - Di Xia Tie
reason : dramatic melody. Somewhat inspirational.
+ Vibe - Haruae Shigani Juojintamyon
reason : a very "perih" song XD
+ Lisa - Just 2 Be With U (feat. Annie)
reason : I like the RnB groove
+ Shinhwa - Liar
reason : the "perih" feeling, and well, my favourite.
+ M - Hidden track
reason : just sexual :D
{posted by Chibi on 11:15 PM} +
Thursday, October 21, 2004
DRAMAS AND ANIMES STRIKE!
And what kind of activity do we have ?
Uhm, beside doing my thesis (that is me, of course) or doing assignments... We watch Dramas and anime. Yeepp.
You know there's a Taiwan drama starring by Vic Zhou (or Zai Zai for the nickname) titled MARS, and everyone seemed to talk about it. Well, me personally is not a drama lover - since I don't really like to watch long drama - but some friends promoted it to me... SO yeah I watch.
AND! Dea - who didn't really interested at first - watched it too... and guess what, she's addicted to Zai Zai again now XDD
She already done watching the whole episodes O_o While me still crawling at the eps. 17 :P Kekekeke.
But not only MARS we have here in this house. Dea now is stalking the last episodes of Sailormoon Live Action. Remember when I watched it few months ago and she went "yuck, you watch that cheesy movie?" ? Well, now she's the one who crazy about Sailormoon - especially Mask Tuxedo >_> Heh.
Another cheesy drama, it's Kamen Rider Faizz. Yep, you're right, that Kamen Rider. Kekekeke.
The reason we borrowed that movie from Tanti is because she said that the main character is cute XD And he is cute. ^^
I dunno when will I finish watching those dramas.... Still, I want anpther anime to watch.
Right now I'm favoring Peace Maker Kurogane, a Japanese cartoon about old samurai's Shinsengumi.
Since I'm a samurai thingie fan, so I definitely love this anime.^^
And actually I'm looking forward for the Shinsengumi drama, but my friend said it's a veeerryyy long drama (about 40 episodes and more! O_o) ... So I guess I have to be patient.
Plus, I still have loads things to do...
So when will I ever finish watching those things ??!?!??!!?
Gahh.
{posted by Chibi on 2:58 PM} +
A SLIGHT OF THOUGHT
Ohohoho, as usual... this lab is a total drag. I can't save anything, I can't log in to Yahoo Messenger, and I can't download -_- How happy is that.
Anyways. Today is Inge's seminar trial. Well, that was the main reason I came here - to support her ^^. But then Lala called me and asked me to help her assignment. So we decided to meet in campus also.
After Lala left, Inge got in,... I decided to hang out at the lab XD I need to search some data, anyway. BUT! yeah... I guess I'll just save the links *sobs*
I've been busy these days (heh, as if you're not everyday >_>) ... So I rarely online. So I guess it's time to check my mails and blogs and forums...
I still feel that I don't have anough data for my thesis. But then again, I don't know what kind of data I should get/need?
I'm lost. Yes, I'm lost like a puppy in a jungle.
There's a slight of panic came running trhough my mind... What if I can't make it again this time?
O_o
Please, don't let me think that way. Please, God.
Hmmm... My brain is not in it's good mood.
{posted by Chibi on 2:07 PM} +
Thursday, October 14, 2004
HAPPY RAMADHAN!
Tomorrow is the beginning of Ramadhan, a sacred month for Moslem.
Being a Moslem, I just would like to say to all Moslem to have a happy Ramadhan ^^
And for everybody - Moslem or not...
To err is human. and since I'm a human, maybe I did some mistakes that I didn't realize, or annoyed you in some way (I know I'm annoying :P), so... please forgive me for the mistakes I've done - wether I did it intentionally or not :P
Peace, y'all ! >:D<
{posted by Chibi on 10:26 PM} +
Tuesday, October 12, 2004
LUV N HATE
Have you ever hate someone so bad, but you just didn't know how to kick him out of your life?
And how it felt like an irritating creature ever, but you just couldn't get rid of him, because - like it or not - you still need this person.
Myah. I wanna kill him. Or, maybe I just kill myself instead. Heck.
DAAAAAAAAADDDD!!!!!!
{posted by Chibi on 11:55 PM} +
Sunday, October 10, 2004
POST-PARTY - MIDNITE POST
We (me, Dea, and Wenda) went there at about 8.30, roamed around and ate some spaghetti+chocolate suffle+burger, the main band started to perform... and that was it. They finished at about 22.30, and the MC said "See ya tomorrow."
Bleh, that was fast XDD
Well, it's a bazaar, what can I say. It's not a campus night. And tomorrow they still have some performers, I think, but the main band (it's Dejavu - one of my favourite club band^^) was for today. Hmmm. At least they played pretty good - very clubbing-ish XD All Rasmus+Muse+Maroon5 (to tell the truth, I'm kinda bored with those songs -_- Too much MTV. I want some J-rocks XDD)
But at least I had a good time there. Saw many stands selling clothes and foods (Wenda even bought this stonewashed jeans :P Can't stop shopping, baby!) I met some friends there... Oho, even Wowo was there XD (dudut :E)
This morning, I went to another bazaar - it's BAIS Fun Festival.
It was really fun - I met my students there (of course, duh, they're BAIS students :P) and their parents... Mrs. Kim dragged me to the Korean food stand and she gave me loads of free foods ^o^ Guess who's the happiest people? Yep, my friends who came along with me - Dea, Diki, Wenda XD They were like "wheehee free foods!" Kekekeke. Next thing was we all were stuffed with kimbap and bulgogi.
After a long week, this Saturday isn't bad at all.
Nice weekend here. ^_^ Nice weekend, everyone!
{posted by Chibi on 1:05 AM} +
Friday, October 08, 2004
READ ME :D
Kekeke. Weird, coz I'm the teacher XD I'm a lousy teacher, yeah, I know.
Well..., it's just because I felt kinda tired and... bored. Although I felt kinda guilty - Jin Yu said today that he had some difficulties with his homeworks without my tutoring T_T (mianhe, Jun Yu yah...^^;;) - but I really, really didn't have any intention to go anywhere that day. Just stay in my room, roaming from the computer desk and my bed :P Yes, I'm a lazy cat. LOL.
I tried to do some thesis crap... Well, so far I still got stuck on the same chapter. Bah.
And so did my fanfics. Although I must admit, it's waaay more fun to write a fic rather than a thesis. Kekekeke. And my fics are waaay longer than my thesis too XDDD
Oh, about the fic. Yes, I finally put a title on it. Kekekeke. See, my first problem of writing a story is how to make a good title. Well, actually, not only for story, but also my thesis O_o The title is always the hardest part.
Because title reflects the content - that's what my lecturer always said - and you have to keep the title short but interesting...
Hell, that's not easy.
But! Since Mon had been nagging me to post my fic in SS (although actually I reeeaally not sure about that - I mean, I wrote craps. Post it in a forum means people read my craps. ...That's pretty embarassing >_< Different with writing a blog - I can write craps without caring people would judge it. Hm.) - so finally I found a title for my fic. I told her that I will post my fic as soon as I found a good title. Kekeke. Well, got it now, but it's still a crappy title. Wakaka!
It's "Where The Sun Is Shining" (thanks to my Winamp list, I found Coleske's old song - Take Me Where The Sun Is Shining - and somehow I like it), and it's featuring Brian Joo from FTTS as one of the main characters (the other one is purely fictive). The setting is Venice, Italy... (I know, I know, you'd say "hell, that's far" O_o Well, it was Dea's request at the first place XD Can't refuse it.) I made some research about the place, and also to match it with the storyline. The story is, well, love story, typical. But I put some artistic details in it - 'coz the story is about a group of archaeologists who made a restoration project in an old palace in Venice. :D
If you find it interesting, go ahead and read it ^^
I posted the prologue chapter few days ago... and so far, the respons were nice^^ It made me more nervous actually - (they're modies, for goodness O_o;;;) but it excited me to write more. Muhahaha. If only writing a thesis would be this fun ._.
Hmmm.... I got so much things I want to write lately. My mom asked me to write another drama script (for TV drama), well, I have the storyline in my head - and already developed it, tough - but I still have no time for that... Not even to make the outline TT_TT Huiks. But prodution house is always there, right? While my study time in this forsaken university is limited XD I know my priority +P
Else... A friend asked me to write a column in his newspaper. Hmm, I'd love to, actually, but once again, the timing problem.
Some of my fanfics are abandoned... And today I re-read them all... I thought, hey! When will I finish this story? XDD I had the ideas in my brain, yet, I need lots of time and energy to do that. So I guess... Imma take things slowly.
Oh, one more thing. Long time ago, I made a story with characters inspired by Shinhwa. No.., I don't call it a fanfic - since I don't use their names, but, well, okay, whatever. It's Indonesian, and it's the first time I wrote a story inspired by artists O_o Really. Okay, actually, inspired by Shinhwa's Ivy Club pic XD They looked sooo highschool-student-ish - I just coldn't help it and imagine them as high school students - in Japan. And there goes the fic :P
I already finished it, and since some friends want to read it... I finally made a blog to make it easier to read. The title is "Nocturne", and I use Japanese names and setting. If you guys understand Indonesian language, please visit and put some comments^^
Whahhh I shamelessly advertising my writings XDDD
This is so not me. I'm a bit odd today. (Blah, like I'm not everyday :P)
Hyah.
{posted by Chibi on 8:56 PM} +
I LOVE TEENAGE MOVIES!
If you noticed, Korean movie usually has a sad ending, or hanging ending (hanging ending? Is there even a word? XD Mind me.) XD But! This movie has a good happy ending, with lots of romantic scenes - although NOT cheesy, but I could feel the love there. Not to mention that Kim Nam Jin is TOTALLY HOT *drools*
Another movie I watched - 2 days ago, is "My Love Sagaji" - the movie starring by Ha Ji Won and Kin Jae Won. Yeah.. yeah..., I know it's an old movie, you'd probably think that I'm so late :P But please understand that I rarely have the willing to sit and watch a movie for abou two hours. But since the reviews of this movie were good, so I watched it anyway ^^
And the reviews were right! This movie is goooood ^^b
A very typical teenange movie, about a highschool girl's life - school, boys, love & hate, kiss, ... - and the story went so natural until the ending - which is predictable, but still nice.
As a teenage-movies lover, I really like this movie more than any Hollywood teenage-movies. Well, I like that silly scenes of Hillary Duff's and/or Lindsay Lohan's, but in this movie, at least I don't have to see any gunk on a teenager's face ^^ And Ha Ji Won still looks so cute. Hmm.
And an extra surprise scene, is the appearance of Click-B's Sang Hyuk - the guy who (Dea said) speaks annoyingly XD *my fave Click-B member :P* Puhahaha!
If I want to make a teenage movie, I really want to make like this one. :D
{posted by Chibi on 7:26 PM} +
WHAT'S WITH THE BOXES?
Gue suka kerdus gede (biasanya bekas kerdus kertas potokopian) buat nempat2in CD2 gue... atau majalah2, atau diktat2... So far udah ada 5 kerdus di kamar gue O_o Dan masih punya satu kerdus kosong lagi di guedang, just in case.
Trus kemaren gue liat bapak pemilik potokopian depan kampus lagi ngebuang kerdus bekas... Entah kenapa rasanya gue pengen treak "Jangan dibuaang..! Buat saya aja..."
But then again... akal sehat gue bilang, "Lu gila! Mo buat apaan lagi, coba?!? Di rumah juga masih ada satu kerdus gede nganggur!"
Yah... akhirnya akal sehat gue menang... Dan gue juga selamet dari bahaya tengsin malakin kerdus dari bapak2 tua :P
Tapi trus malemnya, gue ke Blumen dan iseng2 liat di gift shop-nya, ada kotak2 kerdus kado lutuw2... Lagi sale 20%... Whaawaaa!!
But then again... akal sehat gue nyolot lagi... "Lu gila!! Mo ditaro dimana lagi kotak2 gitu, udah nggak ada gunanya.. Menuh2in kamar pula!"
Ya udah... ga jadi deh gue beli kerdusnya :p
Gue ga tau kenapa gue gampang tertarik pada benda2 yang ga guna. Dan gue juga ga tau kenapa gue sampe nulis ga guna begini di blog gue XDD
{posted by Chibi on 7:09 PM} +
Sunday, October 03, 2004
GONNA BE ALLRIGHT
That is, if you like cafe talk. Me personally like it, with a hot cappucinno (but lately, I prefer iced chocolate *drools* Enough caffeine in my blood O_o) and maybe a baked banana cheese with brown sugar on the table (or a nice Indomi telor kornet XD)... I could spent hours sitting on that cafe and having a long conversation about anything. And even call the waiter again and ask for the next menu XD
Few days ago we talked about love, life and family. Yes, very common, but it's a never ending topic :P Oh, of course the other never ending topics are celebrity/friends gossips and musics. For me, even the script storylines :DD
I have a friend - a close friend, actually, and she's living with her family right now. Well, she used to live alone during her college years, but now after graduate, she went back to her hometown. She's very close with her family. Her mom loves her very much, and if I can say, a very protective type of mother.
Sometimes, my friend complained of how her mother controlled her every activities. It's like she can't do things on her own, wihout her mother's supervision O_o
Well, she tried to break free, but she was too weak and doesn't have enough courage to fight it. The family is too strong.
And few days ago, she called us (me and my housemates - actually she's closer to one of my housemate) and cried... She was in pain. She found a lump in her breast, and she said it's painful and even caused her fevers for a several nights. O_o
I asked her, "have you told your mom and go to the doctor?"
She said, her mom just didn't really care about the pain and told her to just put some oil to get rid of it. O_o
And unfortunately, there was some reasons that made her couldn't go to the doctor by herself.
How come a very protective mother could be sometimes just so careless about her precious daughter's condition? I mean, she was in pain, for heaven sake; and she even cried on the phone - in the middle of the night! - because she couldn't go to the doctor - coz her mom wouldn't take her to. And that night she was left alone in the house while her parents having a weekend.
We (me and my housemates) were very angry - and confused, and worried - by her mom reaction about this. We even cried too when she called and cried to us - there was nothing we could do to reduce her pain. So we just told her to calm down, and if her mom still wouldn't take her to the hospital, we suggested her to come to us and we'd take care of her. Everything will be allright.
Well, luckily then she could calm herself down again, and laughed at our jokes.
We love her. And I'm sure her family loves her too.
But I guess sometimes love could be so blind, and couldn't see that the person that you loved is having a life too. *shrugs* I can't think.
I really, really hope she's allright now.
{posted by Chibi on 9:25 PM} +
WISHES, PLEASE BE TRUE
#1 I wish I have more money (what a common wish XD)
#2 I wish The Embassy would accept my essay.
#3 I wish I could go to Korea then if the Embassy accept it.
#4 I wish I could finish my thesis soon.
#5 I wish I could be on the list of 50 first submitter.
#6 I wish I can get the presentation before February graduation day.
#7 I wish I could go to Korea after that.
... then it would be back to wish #3.
And the solutions/suggestions are :
=1 You have to work hard or get a better job. Common sense says so.
=2 Hmm, it's already submitted. Let's just cross our fingers XD
=3 Like I said, cross fingers.
=4 Then start digging your books and library, read, think, and type it, you lazy ass! And get rid of those K-pop CDs :P
=5 Repeat scolding =4.
=6 Again, see =4.
=7 Back to =3.
There there :]
{posted by Chibi on 1:32 AM} +
Saturday, October 02, 2004
RUMORS COME TRUE
I just got back from Teko, a famous tea cafe here ^^ Me, Dea, Wenda, and Nita spent some hours there... Coz Wenda lost her boyfriend (no, not broke up, Rumbi just had some business) so she decided to drag us for a weekend. It was fun^^ And now I'm high on tea XD
Now, where have I been this week? Hmmm, just usual, my room, campus, LIPI - the Choi's house, and the Lee's house. LOL.
've been dealing with deadlines lately. x_X And still, so much things to do. For this week, I practically living a vampire life (euh, without that blood-sucking attitude :P)
I always slept in the morning - around 6 am. Then I woke up at 10 or 11, went to campus, or doing some papers/stuffs/anything, teaching, back to my room and computer, and... suddenly there's sunrise again! O_o
Seriously, I need extra hours. I wish one day is 36 hours T_T
I've been doing my essays... Well, it took only few hours to make the outline, but I spent 2 days to finish it all. Frankly I'm not so sure my essay is good enough, but that's all I could think during 9 pm to 6 am :P I just hope the Korean Embassy will accept it >_<
Another news for the week. My dear campus announced that all thesis draft for this semester must be submitted before December 6. That means, I have to work my butt out to finish that crap immediately. Not just that, rumor spreads that only the first 50 submitter could have the final presentation. The rest would have to wait for about two months. TWO MONTHS??!!? So then it would be after graduation day! Which means, those who get the presentation day after two months, would join the next graduation day - on June. -______- Nah-nah. That doesn't suit my plan at all.
Wtf with this new rules. I mean, 50 first submitter? C'mon, this isn't a quiz!! O_o
But okay, it could be just a rumor. But sadly, most rumor were true in my campus +P Well, in that case, I have to finish this crap sooner so I could be on that 50 first list. Boohoo.
Well..., what else can I say. I guess it's God's plan to kick my butt and make me more serious in this come-on-let's-graduate-plan. Yeah *blink*
I need to breathe, for God sake.
{posted by Chibi on 11:58 PM} +
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Song:'80s-'90s songs; Matt Hires; some rocks
Obsession: Publishing my book
Reading: Horrible Histories
Movie: Clueless
Addiction: Books & Mp3
Project: Reviews and Translations
